By Riley Graham ·
How to Help Your Child Make Friends in an Online Club
Help your child make friends in an online club: pick by interest, log in early, set one small social goal a week, and keep contact safe and on the platform.
To help your child make friends in an online club, pick a club built around something they already love, arrive a few minutes early so they can chat before the lesson starts, and help them practice one small move each week, like saying hello by name or sharing something on camera. Friendships in a club grow slowly, through the same faces meeting week after week.
Your job is to make showing up easy and to coach the social skills in between sessions. Choose by interest, check the age range and group size, log in early, set one small social goal per session and debrief afterward. Give a new club four to six sessions, and keep all contact on the platform unless you have agreed otherwise with the other child's parent.
Why clubs are a good place to make friends
Many kids find it easier to connect over a shared interest than in a crowded lunchroom. An online club gives them a regular time, a small group and a topic to talk about, which takes away a lot of the guesswork of making friends.
A one-time class ends before kids learn each other's names. A weekly club is different. The same children return, the teacher learns who likes what, and inside jokes start to form. That repetition matters. The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that children rarely learn the art of friendship without some support from adults, and a club gives you a steady setting to provide it. You can read their advice in What Parents Can Do to Support Friendships.
Step by step: helping your child connect
- Choose by interest, not by friends. A child who loves Minecraft, drawing or debating will have things to say in a club about that topic. Shared enthusiasm is the easiest conversation starter there is.
- Look at the age range and group size. A club for a narrow age band means peers who talk and joke at a similar level. A smaller group gives a quieter child more chances to speak.
- Join a few minutes early. The minutes before class are often when kids chat freely. Logging in early lets your child say hi without the pressure of the whole group watching.
- Practice one small social goal. Before each session, agree on one thing to try: say a classmate's name, ask one question, or show something they made. Keep it small enough to feel doable.
- Debrief afterward. Ask who said something funny, who likes the same things, and what they might share next week. This helps your child remember names and build on what happened.
- Stick with it for several weeks. Friendships take repeat contact. Give a new club at least four to six sessions before deciding it is not a fit.
Still choosing a club? See how to choose the right club for your child.
What to expect at each age
| Age | What friendship looks like | How you can help |
|---|---|---|
| 5 to 7 | Playing alongside others, showing toys or drawings, short turns talking | Sit nearby for the first sessions and help with mute, camera and raising a hand |
| 8 to 10 | Shared jokes, favorite characters, comparing projects | Rehearse a simple opener like "I like your build, how did you make it?" |
| 11 to 13 | Bonding over expertise and humor, wanting to look capable in front of peers | Step back from the screen and give privacy while staying close by |
| 14 and up | Group discussion, debate, working on projects together | Encourage them to take a role such as presenter or team lead |
Helping a shy or anxious child
Shy kids often do well in online clubs because they can warm up from the comfort of home. The AAP's page on shyness in children suggests gently guiding them into low-pressure social settings, practicing skills like asking for help and comforting a friend, and being patient through the adjustment period.
- Let them start with the chat box or a thumbs up before speaking out loud.
- Agree that keeping the camera on for the first few minutes is enough for now, if the teacher allows that.
- Let the teacher know your child is shy. Most teachers are glad to invite a quiet child in with an easy question.
- Praise effort ("you said hi to Maya!") rather than outcome.
In a live club on Undoschool, you can message the teacher before the first session to share what helps your child feel comfortable.
What to watch for
Online friendships should stay safe and visible to you. Keep these points in mind:
- Keep contact on the platform. Kids should not swap phone numbers, gaming handles or social media accounts without your approval.
- Know who they talk to. The AAP encourages parents to stay involved in their child's social plans and to know who their child is communicating with.
- Notice changes in mood. If your child dreads a club they used to enjoy, ask why. It could be a personality clash or something you should raise with the teacher.
- Watch for ongoing withdrawal. The AAP says shyness that leads a child to avoid social settings over time, or that seriously gets in the way of daily life, is worth talking about with your pediatrician.
- Balance screen time. A club is active, social screen time, but it still counts. Leave room for offline play and in-person friends too.
Frequently asked questions
Can kids really make friends in an online club?
Yes, especially when the club meets weekly with the same group. Kids bond over shared interests, and many look forward to seeing the same faces each week. Some friendships stay within the club, which is still valuable social practice.
Should I let my child connect with club friends outside class?
That is a family decision. If you agree to it, talk with the other child's parent first and set up supervised contact, such as a parent-arranged video call, rather than private messaging apps.
My child never talks in club. Should I worry?
Not at first. Many kids listen for several weeks before joining in. Ask the teacher how your child seems in class and set one tiny speaking goal. If silence continues for months, or your child seems upset, talk to the teacher and consider a smaller group.
How long before my child makes a friend in a club?
It varies. Friendships take repeat contact, so give a new club at least four to six sessions before deciding whether it is a fit.
Find a club built around what your child loves
Live online clubs meet weekly with the same small group, giving kids a shared interest, familiar faces and a steady place to practice making friends.